Meet my new friend Mortimer. He’s wet.
Any one of us has, at least once, been the joke amongst friends about being the bearer of bad luck, or that bad weather may be due to our presence and other playful absurdities like that. But what do you do when that fudging cloud does happen to be right above your head no matter where you go?
I just came back from Northern Greece were I spent two weeks for this summer’s improv tour. I did have Billy, my partner in crime with me, but we were not alone. Oh no. We were constantly accompanied by a large, persistent, grey as a rat cloud, constantly gracing our bodies with rain drops. For the purposes of this story, I am going to name that cloud Mortimer.
We got to Thessaloniki early morning and took us about 3 hours to find a place to stay. It took Mortimer roughly 15 minutes more to start playing the peekaboo game. We didn’t mind him. In fact, we welcomed him. It was warm, so some drops of rain felt nice.
Mortimer stuck around for the following day too. That was slightly more of an inconvenience, as we had an improv workshop to teach that afternoon. Mortimer got even more fierce with his collection of rain drops and our students started showing up wet but happy (hey, who’s wet and unhappy, right? nudge-nudge wink-wink). Later that night, Mortimer was pouring it down and the walk to and from the bus stop wasn’t easy. We didn’t let it get to us though. At the end of the day it’s rain, not shit.
The next day we woke up to a grey sky. Mortimer was there, but probably still sleeping, and therefore inactive. He did say hello later in the evening, but it would have been rude had he not done so.
Day four comes, during which we decided to hitchhike down to the beaches of Chalkidiki. Mortimer was nowhere to be seen. It was nice meeting him, but I would certainly not miss the bastard. We ended up at a secluded beach, just us and the dude that drove the car that took us there. Had a couple of beers, had a couple of laughs and not even close to midnight, we laid sleeping bags on the sandy beach and went to sleep. For a short while. Why? Because my beauty sleep was rudely interrupted by Mortimer and his wet door knocks. And he kept knocking and knocking. Did I mention the fact we had no tent? Yeah, we had no tent. To our rescue, we found a large piece of plastic material I can only describe as plastic canvas.
This is the high life. Waking up under a piece of plastic, with the emerald waters of the Aegean sea splashing at your feet, eating yesterday’s ant-covered rain-soaked pizza. Needless to say, Mortimer was still there.
Day five.We kept of hitchhiking towards Kavala. Mortimer was powerful and kept us barricaded at a tiny village up in the mountain.
Day six we made it to Xanthi. From that point on, days 7-8-9-10-11… we entered a routine with Mortimer. He would give us a shower precisely at midday EVERY.SINGLE.DAY and then persistently tap on our bedroom window around 3am EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT.
Day whatever. We go for an improv show to Kavala. We’re outside the theater, waiting for the owners to come and open up (They never did. Dicks. But that’s another story.) and Mortimer was once again there, making our wait that little bit damper.
Day whatever+1. Show in Alexandroupolis. Of course Mortimer followed us there and gave the city a good clean right before the show.
Last day, in Thessaloniki, at the airport, waiting to depart. Five minutes prior to boarding, Mortimer gives it his best shot. A thunderstorm like no other. Not only does it cause EVERY.SINGLE.FLIGHT to be delayed no less than 2 hours, but the ceiling at our gate is leaking. Heavily. A lake is forming all around us and we’re picking up luggage above our heads. Cleaners are mopping the unmoppable.
Crazy thing about pretty much all this is that whenever we were somewhere up high and gazed far in the horizon, the skies looked clear and cloudless. It was just us and Mortimer right above our heads. Each city we visited, people told us the weather was great, up until we arrived. Go figure.
We finally get back to Athens. We were late, so the moment we touched the ground I texted my friend Michalis that we would be out very soon. (No, I did not wait to reach the terminal.) We get out and… you guessed it. Mortimer is there! And he’s brought friends! Powerful ones! I asked Michalis how long had it been raining. “Oh, it started about 2 minutes after you texted me regarding your arrival.”.
Yeah… That kinda seals the deal.
Come on Mortimer. I’ll show you where your room is.